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Saturday, September 17, 2011
05:19 am CEST - Yondaime Mizukage Purple - I have not blogged in many moons. XD
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Well, I have an ear infection right now. Currently brought on by the past throat infection/sickness that I had. Unfortunately, it is causing everything I hear to sound out of tune and possibly a half step below what it should be. Music is making me cry on the inside now as it all sounds out of whack. T_T
Started my full time job about a month ago. Pretty stressful at times, other times, not so much. I've been moved to the 6:30am shifts, as I need to get there in the office first to undo the security alarm. They asked me because I know a few people in the company and they trust me with the security code. Scares me a bit, because I have yet to ask what I would do should I get really sick and am not able to come in to unlock everything. >_>
But besides that, the whole relationship stuff has semi-calmed down. More crap has happened, but I will not go into detail in that because it is long and complicated. I was kind of a mess, and mentally, I still am going through a tug of war battle, but in the end, I'll get through it. I feel my ex needs more mental support than I do because she is on anti-depressants now and is self-destructive, whereas I uh... drown myself in video games. :3
But yep. Thought I would just blog somewhere my thoughts so I can look back at them later and laugh at how things turned out. .-. Maybe.
Tuesday, March 01, 2011
10:38 pm CET - Yondaime Mizukage Purple - @Shikki
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Yep, this is definitely like twitter, and I don't even use twitter. xD
But anyways, good luck on getting into those other colleges and universities. Hopefully you'll get a thick envelope and not one of them floppy disappointing ones. ;_; I got a rejection from UCSD, but in the end, I was pretty happy with UCI.
I'm down for some KBBQ though, that stuff is like crack.
Monday, February 28, 2011
08:50 am CET - Yondaime Mizukage Purple
Hits: 15233
@Shikki
Congrats on getting into UCI! I'll be graduating this year, but I'll be coming back to help out the club I'm in, and I'll also maybe go out to the Japanese american club's meetings every so often to catch up with old friends. Other than that though, I don't think I'll see you! But yeah, I had a great 4 years here, and I'm sad to say goodbye, but I think you'll enjoy it. It's pretty darn asian here, and they sell korean bbq almost every other week. x) good stuff
Also, thanks for the words of encouragement. Apparently a lot of my other friends were glad that I broke it off w/my girlfriend because she was selfish and slightly crazy. I still miss her, but I want her to grow independently as a person before I can make a commitment because if she's still unstable herself, I can't possibly deal with trying to hold her together on my own.
Thanks dawg. ^_^b
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
10:54 pm CET - Yondaime Mizukage Purple
Hits: 15543
So, I never blog. Ever. However, I feel the need to now, because I don't want to post on tumblr where all of my real life friends can read it. I just need a place to escape to where you all don't actually know me.
I broke up with my girlfriend last night. It didn't end well. She cried over and over, made a big scene, and now everybody knows. I was fed up with her mind games that she played with me, and so I ended it. I needed this freedom, but she says she still loves me, and she won't let me go. What's worse is that she's in the same club as me and we HAVE to see each other twice a week.
Since the beginning, she has always teased me and tried to make me jealous whenever I did something she didn't like.
I don't say I love her enough. I'm not affectionate enough. I'm not etc. etc. etc.
So what'd she do? She would say "oh I'm going over to Boy A's house." Boy A is a guy she flirts with unintentionally (she's pretty dense) and he flirts with her (despite having a gf THAT HE'S ALREADY CHEATED ON TWICE). She apologizes, and says she'll stop. She does for about a week or so, and then she goes back to it anyways.
It never changes.
I'm so sick of her and her playing all these games. I've been sick all last quarter with pneumonia, and this quarter I got sick twice. The other night, she got disappointed and sad with me because I didn't go to a party w/her, but it was raining hard outside, it was late, and I was freaking sick. She got disappointed in ME for not going just so that she wouldn't be alone? UGH. GIVE ME A BREAK.
She's so needy, so self-centered, and rude. She wasn't courteous to my friends, nor my parents until I TOLD her to be. Granted, it's not all her fault, because I know there were some things I could have improved upon, but my things were that I just didn't tell her I liked her enough. For me, being with her is assumed that I like her and enjoy her company, but she said she needs reassurance. But I haven't said it lately because all she's done is made me angry and frustrated. It's a vicious circle.
And now she's crying and asking for another chance, but how many chances does she need? Part of me wants to go back to her and hold her and hug her and give her a second chance, but I've already done that so many times. My true friends told me to be strong, and do this for myself because that's the only way I'll be happy again.
I don't know yet if I made the right decision.
Sunday, February 14, 2010
09:00 am CET - Yondaime Mizukage Purple - x_x
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Indeed, I'm totally getting pimp slapped by school and my club. Work is okay. Work is routine. Random painting assignments? Not so routine. Why won't our teacher stick to her schedule instead of giving us like... two days to do a huge ol' painting. Paint the room she says, but the room is closed on the weekends and the only other day to do it we have the day off from school and the room is closed.
Thanks a lot presidents. xD
Lots of club stuff to do... lots and lots of things I need to make. o_o;; curses.
Under the bludgeonings of chance My head is bloody, but unbowed.
Sunday, January 03, 2010
01:35 am CET - Yondaime Mizukage Purple - Bleh
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My last few days of carefree happiness (sort of). I hated being home since my parents argue almost 24/7, but I enjoyed having to not work on art projects, or worry (too much) about club duties. No work either since the school is closed for break. A whole lot of nothing!
I'm also currently freaking OBSESSED with Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Yes, I realize that I'm way behind the times (like, nearly a decade), but I started watching it online and got hooked. Willow and Tara are the best (screw season 7).
I expect the next months to be chaotic and busy as heck since my club's culture night is arriving faster than a speeding train. x_x Sometimes I wonder why I ran for cabinet, but then I remember the smiles that we put on the general members' faces and I feel happy again.
Anyways, I've just been feeling quite a bit stressed as of late due to some things.
I'm disappointed in myself.
Under the bludgeonings of chance My head is bloody, but unbowed.
Monday, December 21, 2009
10:11 pm CET - Yondaime Mizukage Purple - UGH
Hits: 13116
So... I've been watching Buffy the Vampire Slayer this entire winter break, and my hopes and dreams have been shattered. My favorite couple, Willow and Tara, was torn apart in the stupidest way possible! A GUNSHOT?! C'MON! They fought demons, vampires, and survived the apocalypse MULTIPLE TIMES AND SHE DIES BY A GUNSHOT.
T.T Not gonna watch season 7 now. Stupid Kennedy has no chemistry with Willow.
And yes, I realize that the Buffy craze was like.. back when I was in middle school, but it's never too late to like a series, yeah? Kinda like my Xena phase... last year. <.<;
Under the bludgeonings of chance My head is bloody, but unbowed.
Sunday, December 06, 2009
08:09 am CET - Yondaime Mizukage Purple - Blah blah blah
Hits: 12568
So, once again, with nowhere to write out my thoughts without friends from school and such seeing, I've resorted to here. >.> I had the urge to put down my thoughts, but alas, people from facebook, or even cursed xanga, would see.
Anyways, I don't get it. Some days I'll be okay and say, "Hey, you know what, I'm fine and dandy without being in a relationship or anything. I've got my friends, and that's all I'll ever need." And then some days, like today, I'll remember just how much I really, really wanted to be with somebody. I think this stupid feeling has popped up today because I've recently been forcing myself not to fall even harder for my best friend who already has a boyfriend. Their relationship is so solid and it's something that I want. Sometimes I want to be with her so badly that it hurts for realzies. One thing she told me that absolutely broke my heart was "o i'd love you so much more had i been single".
Ouch.
Under the bludgeonings of chance. My head is bloody, but unbowed.
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
10:46 am CET - Yondaime Mizukage Purple - :|
Hits: 12622
So...
I believe I'm falling for my friend. Falling hard. She's got a boyfriend and is my best friend, but we're both like.. in an interesting stage that's beyond best friends. She's acknowledged that she falls in and out of love with me, but she loves her boyfriend and knows she'd never leave him. They trust each other beyond all ends. But she loves us both, and she's said so.
Our relationship is difficult to understand, and even more difficult on my heart. I want to be with her so bad, but I know I'll never be able to. Sometimes it just hurts.
Under the bludgeonings of chance My head is bloody, but unbowed.
Monday, November 16, 2009
08:14 am CET - Yondaime Mizukage Purple - -_-
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I must be quite noob at these blog doohickies because I just wrote this long ol' blurb and thought that it posted (I pressed save!) but alas, nothing posted. So instead of trying to recall all that I said, I think I'll just stop there.
Bleh.
Under the bludgeonings of chance My head is bloody, but unbowed.
Monday, November 09, 2009
09:46 am CET - Yondaime Mizukage Purple - Testing... 1, 2, 3
Hits: 12659
After years and years, I thought I'd finally get a blog. This blog may die, as I have an inconsistent amount of time to dedicate to SL, let alone a blog, but let's just see how far this takes me.
I guess I just would like a place to write about my life's events without having my normal friends from real life read it. I just kind of need to spill my scattered thoughts somewhere. Anyways...
I've been super busy with school, work, and club activities. Definitely being on cabinet for one club and being a member of a drumming club that has practices has made me super busy. Also, with overlapping art projects, I've been having a BUNCH of stuff to accomplish in short periods of time. Needless to say, I've been stressed.
On top of that, there is this girl that is my best friend named Samantha. Our relationship is very, very complicated, because it's as if we both mutually like each other, but she loves her boyfriend too. It's just... difficult. I don't know what to think of it. It hurts my heart sometimes, but I never want them to break up because they are such a great couple. Blegh.
Time to sleep. Maybe I'll post another blog some other day. Or not.
Under the bludgeonings of chance My head is bloody, but unbowed.
